Home' Scoop : Scoop 54 Summer 2010 Contents This was the place I had arrived at in a few short minutes of conversation with my brother before I
headed over to chat with my nephew, paper plate and beer in hand. Once a bookish boy myself, we’ve
always had a simpatico and I figured maybe a little pep talk from cool Uncle Dan would cool his ire. My
brother smiled a wry, knowing smile, slapped me on the shoulder and said, “Good on you, mate”, before
striding away a little too joyfully.
The neph’ and I chatted over lunch, and once he’d thawed a bit I broached the Facebook thing.
He stiffened, shot accusing eyes in his father’s direction and did that thing that only teenaged boys,
slack-jawed yokels and women out of your league can manag e with utter conviction: hostile indifference.
Knowing I was losing him, I burst into a spiel about true friendship and how the Facebook model was
bullshit because the people who matter in life are the ones you called mates and your family. And they know
where to find you. And, speaking of mates, Facebook cuts against the grain of what mateship’s about.
Your mate could be the guy you hit the town with while backpacking through Europe 20 years ag o, or
the bloke you text a make-believe Master mind question to every day as part of an ongoing hilarious thing
you guys invented. He’s the guy you call when you move. You never buy each other birthday presents.
He’s not someone to whom you ever write ‘LOL ; )’. In fact, no man should ever write/think/utter the
letters LOL unless an A follows them and he is drunkenly singing The Kinks’ Lola. W ith his mates.
My nephew looked at me. In fact, everyone was looking at me. I calmed down, dissembled something
about not getting drunk til you’re old enough and saying, “But you know what I mean, right?”
He nodded elliptically. “But you’re on Facebook, right?”
“Oh, sure,” I said. “But that’s not the point...”
“How many friends do you have?” I didn’t know, so we checked on a phone: 242.
“Is that all?” the little bastard laughed. I’ll bet he ignores my friend request in four years, too. S
about an hour ago · comment · like
Daniel Murphy is the Deputy Editor of FHM. He still prefers Speedos
to Billabong boardies for reasons of hydrodynamics. He regrets there
are no pictures on Facebook.
Mark Zuckerberg LOL ;)
2 hours ago · comment · like
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